Why It's Important to Stay Financially Savvy in Your Marriage—Even if You're Happily Married

If you're a happily married woman, the idea of understanding your household finances might seem unnecessary, or even overwhelming. But here’s the reality: Whether you’re blissfully wed or in a high-conflict divorce, not knowing what’s going on with your money can leave you in a vulnerable position. And this doesn't just apply to women—whether you're in a same-sex marriage, a partnership, or a stay-at-home dad, it’s crucial to have a handle on your finances.

Know Your Tax Returns and Financials

One of the first things I always tell people is to familiarize themselves with their tax returns. It's easy to e-file and not even realize what you're signing off on. Many times, in traditional setups, one spouse (often the wife) might not even be involved in signing documents. In fact, some don’t see the tax return at all! That’s a huge red flag.

You want to be sure that you’re aware of what's on those documents. What if something happened to your spouse tomorrow—whether they pass away, become disabled, or even just lose their job? Would you know how to manage everything? You don’t want to find yourself suddenly forced to deal with finances you’ve never seen or don’t understand.

Meet with the Accountant – Together

If your spouse is meeting with the accountant, guess what? You should be there too. Don't let it intimidate you! So many women (and men who aren’t the primary earners) feel like they're not entitled to ask questions or don't know where to start. But there are no dumb questions. Ask for a session with a financial advisor who will explain things to you. Some advisors even offer a free consultation to help you understand the basics.

Open the Bills and Statements

Here’s another big one: open the mail. Yes, the actual physical bills, statements, and mortgage paperwork. You need to know what's coming in and going out. Ignorance isn't bliss—it’s a trap. Don’t wait until it’s too late to figure out what your home equity, bank accounts, or credit card debt look like.

Accountability is Changing

In the past, women in marriages were often granted a sort of "protected" status, where they weren’t held accountable for the finances. That’s changing. We live in a gender-neutral world when it comes to financial responsibility. Even if you’re a stay-at-home partner or the lower earner, you are still expected to be aware of your financial situation. In many households, women are the primary breadwinners now, and with that comes equal accountability.

I see this all the time: women who earn the same or even more than their partners, but still defer to their spouse when it comes to finances. It's fine to delegate, but you still need to be informed. You can’t expect a judge to be lenient if you didn’t ask how your family could afford lavish vacations or luxury purchases but only reported a modest income on your tax return.

Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

If you start asking questions about your financial situation and your spouse is reluctant to share the details, that's a red flag. It's time to have a conversation. You need to know these things—not just in case of a divorce but for estate planning, or heaven forbid, in the event of an accident or illness.

Prenups and Postnups—Why Millennials are Getting it Right

Younger couples are setting a new standard by being more open about finances. Millennials are talking about money upfront and splitting bills, which is why their divorce rates are lower than older generations. They're using prenuptial and postnuptial agreements to set clear expectations, unlike past generations where women often weren’t even on the deed to the house.

Be Proactive, Not Naïve

Don't be the woman who only cares about luxury items or the appearance of wealth. When it comes time for divorce, assets are divided based on what exists at that moment. If the money is gone or the debts are piling up, you can't go back and blame anyone but yourself.

That’s why I stress to my clients: don't stay in the dark. If you're proactive, you might be able to save not only your finances but possibly even your marriage. After all, financial stress is a huge factor in many divorces.

Final Thoughts: Financial Awareness Could Save Your Marriage

If you're aware of your financial situation, you can make better decisions—whether it’s cutting back on luxury items or planning for your child’s education. You might even avoid divorce entirely by addressing financial issues early on. So, sit down with your spouse, open those bills, talk to your financial advisor, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Your future self will thank you.